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Proper Introduction: The Kid



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Born:  12/27/2006
Weight:  7 pounds, 8 ounces
Length:  19.5 inches


The Kid.  As you can see, she just turned 11.  ELEVEN.  We have a Tweenager.  She's an only child, so she's super sassy (she gets that from me), super smart (she gets that from FWD) and super hilarious (I'd like to claim that 100%, but we're both pretty funny).  She's also sort of mean, very bossy and a regular pain in the ass!


Neither one of her parents are only children so we don't get it, but we have to try and mold it into a person who will not grow up to be a total asshole.  Mom's know what I'm talking about.  We all love our kids more than just about anything in the world, but when one is a jerk, they are a J E R K.

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Age:  8 Months Old
Weight:  20 Pounds
Height:  *thisbig*


Lucky for us, she's, from what I can tell is coming out on the other side of her Prime Jerk stage.  She's been more loving, more kind and more fun to be around as the last year has passed.

But also:

Hormones.  Y'all.  HORMONES.  


It's happening and she has no idea what the actual hell is going on.  She cries and we try to find out why and she doesn't know.  She lashes out over the dumbest things.  Example:  

Me: The Kid, do you want me to make you a sandwich?
The Kid:  NO I HATE SANDWICHES AND I HATE BREAD AND I HATE MUSTARD AND CRUST AND I CAN'T BELIEVE FOR ONE SECOND YOU WOULD EVEN FORGET THAT MAYO OFFENDS ME.

Me:  *eyeballs as big as saucers*  Okay.
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Age:  18 Months
Weight:  32 Pounds
Height:  *thisbig*

We have had so many adventures and misadventures as we navigate this parenting/child thing together.  Some days we're the best of friends and other days I want to stick her on the other side of our gate with a sign that says "free to a good home", except she knows the gate code and will come right back.  And I'd want her to, but sometimes, GO AWAY.  And then I miss her when she's gone, but then she breathes my air and I get upset.  But truly, honestly though, she's the best thing that ever happened to FWD and I.  She's our everything.  Our plan was to give her a sibling and for reasons you'll learn about later, we didn't.  She knows no other life and I think she'll grow up just fine.

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Age:  2
Weight:  33 Pounds
Height:  *thisbig*

You know what else is weird about being a parent?  Everything we grew up with, everything we were taught - that's all gone.  We used to spend HOURS outside.  She spends time outside - probably more than most kids, but things are so different.  Before we moved to a rural area she would ask to ride her bike and we wouldn't let her unless she was with her SheWolf Pack.  Safety in numbers.  People are creeps.  Now we live on 10 acres and she roams freely, but we don't really have neighbors that have kids, so she does it alone or with her daddy (which she LOVES.  They are two peas in a pod).  I'm not outdoorsy.  I like to be at the beach, but I don't like to hike or ride bikes (unfortunate, I know). 

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Age:  6
Weight:  35 Pounds
Height *tallerthanthelastpicture*

If she's not outside, she's watching YouTube videos on her phone.  It drives me kind of crazy, but don't worry, we monitor her closely.  We also put a lot of trust in her to make the right decisions when it comes to what she watches.  She likes to watch stuff about minecraft and makeup tutorials (she can put on a better face than I can) and she follows a former female viner.  She loves to text her friends and grandparents (yes, she has a phone.  More on that later) and she loves to create things.  She gets that from me too.  She likes to be doing something crafty.  I just hope she doesn't end up like her mother - a Serial Crafter: a crafter who drives their spouse absolutely crazy with the next fun crafty thing...

Kid, if you end up reading this one day, I want you to know how crazy in love with you we are.  You are the most fun, amazing thing in this world.  You're brains will get you far in life and always remember to make good choices!  Mommy & Daddy love you all of the stars in the sky!

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SheWolf Pack:  Ler, The Kid, No. 1 and Bee (also Fiona & Pete the bunnies)
Age:  10
Weight:  50 Pounds
Height:  Same as Ler

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Age:  10 Years, 364 Days
Weight:  62 Pounds (FINALLY)
Height:  4 foot, 4 inches
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